查看完整版本: 每天给大家一个欢笑0009（改正）

每天给大家一个欢笑0009（改正）

1、如何年薪800万

甲：你年薪多少?
乙：800万.
甲：那一个月有80万哦.
乙：是的，这是基本工资.
甲：不错嘛，做什么的?
乙：做梦的.

评论：多么可怜的孩子，做梦都只做800万，不做8000万的。

2、母牛配种

乡下，一小男孩满身大汗拉着一头牛。路过的游客==好奇地问：
〝你要把牛拉到哪去？〞
〝到邻村和母牛配种。〞
〝这样的事不能让你父亲做吗？〞
男孩连连摇头：〝不行，一定得公牛才行！〞

评论：这男孩的回答，不知道该说他对呢还是错呢？

3、金庸和JK罗琳

金庸大作简而言之是：
飞雪连天射白鹿，笑书神侠倚碧鸳。

JK罗琳的著作呢？（哈里波特作者）
简言之：哈哈哈哈哈哈哈

评论：好冷的一个冷笑话，要是出8的话，就是哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈。

4、吸血蝙蝠

吸血蝙蝠满身鲜血的回来，众蝙蝠甚是羡慕，问他从哪找来这么多鲜血，它把众蝙蝠带到一大树旁。
问：看到大树没？
众答：看到了。
它：他nnd，我就没看到

评论：蝙蝠是靠声波辨位的，是看不见东西的。

5、骑车睡着了

有次晚上大概10点多骑自行车回家途中
非激动车道
有一男子开着电瓶车晃晃悠悠
我想可能是喝多了 还是保持一定距离吧
正想着 突然前面车子倒下那男的跌了下去
我从他旁边骑过想看看究竟
他自言自语说了句很雷的: 麻勒隔壁,睡着了!~

评论：真是一个牛人啊，骑着车都能睡着。

6、电梯超重怎么办？

前两天在电梯上进来很多人
A：好多人，会不会超重啊？我背你吧。
B：那不是会更重？
我忍。。。。

评论：这两个SB是不是中学物理不及格吧。

7、头发分叉不能军训

Mm：老师，我有心脏病，申请不参加军训。
辅导员：你有校医院的证明吗？
Mm：……这还要证明？
辅导员：当然！除了肉眼能判断的外伤，其他的都要证明。
Mm：好吧，我头发分叉。

评论：这事更好解决，把头发剪了，就能军训了。

8、美女拒绝献花的理由

不，请别送我鲜花儿！！花儿是植物的生殖器，我可不想捧着一堆生殖器和你漫无目的地散步在校园里―_－！

评论：这个美女是动植物学院的高材生吧。

9、用词不当

下班回家需要跟老婆坐同一趟车，但因为上下班时间不一样，所以不会赶在一起。
　　但就有这么一回，上了车发现老婆也在上面。看到我上来，老婆开心的不得了。下了车牵了她的手走回家的路上，老婆还在感慨：真好，晚上在一起，下了班还能一起回家，这就叫双宿双飞。。。　　
　　为了配合老婆的兴致，我也随声附和：对啊，夫妻本是同林鸟嘛。。。

评论：你老婆会为这句话的后一句把你杀了的。

10、家里闹鬼了

有个醉鬼回家，爬到床上叫醒老婆，说：“*亲爱的，咱们家闹鬼了。”
他老婆坐起身来，说： “ 你说什么？ ”
醉鬼说： “ 我刚才回来时去上厕所，才一开门，灯就亮了。 ”
他老婆说： “ 真的么？ ”
他用力点点头： “ 千真万确！ ”
他老婆想了想，说： “ 你是不是还感到有阵阵阴风吹出来？ ”
他连忙说： “ 对啊，你怎么知道？ ”
他老婆这时狠狠地打了他一巴掌，说：“死鬼，这是你第三次喝醉了尿在冰箱里。”

评论：关键是他把门开，怎么进去小便的。

最后面一个最搞笑了 其余的也可以  呵呵

最后一个最牛逼 尿道冰箱里怪不得他老婆打他了  还确实够吓人啊

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